Dictator's Diary

One of the girls, I'm not sure who right now...bleached Seohyun's cat. 

I haven't told her yet. :o

HOW DARE SHE OUT-GLOMP ME!? I CAN'T BELIVE THIS!

Brb, working on my technique. :P 

There's a spider by my bedroom door, and it won't let me out!
I tried to smash it with my Bible, and nothing happened!
It must be a demon spider...D:

Somebody help! And please bring holy water! 

Okay girls~Guess what?
On Sunday, we're all going to church with Shiwon-oppa! 
Praise the Lord!

I do feel kinda bad for trying to force Heechul into an exorcism. I told them there was a hot party going on and I gave him the adress to the church, but I didn't think he'd actually fall for it! Too bad the priest wasn't fast enough, oh well.

I wonder if he'd accept some cookies laced with holy water as an apology? 

I agreed to do "We Got Married", but I didn't know they'd pair me up with a fussy, angry, OLD man. D< I mean seriously, couldn't they have paired me up with a hottie like...no wait, he's gay. Well, they could've put me with...no, he's gay too. Hmm...no, he has a boyfriend...Jesus Christ I can't think of anybody...

I'd even take Kangin over HIM! But he's already paired with Yunji...At least I know I can put up with his brand of crazy, been around him for so long I'm used to it...but this, this is too much! Ah, poor Yunji unni. 

The girls just think this is hilarious. >__>

OH NO! He's got Shiwon! What are we gonna do!
Our dear Shiwon, our Christian friend, our child of the Lord~ he has been taken...taken by devilspawn named Heechul!
We must save him! There never was much hope for Jungmo, but Shiwon...Shiwon has the light of God in him, he can still be saved! I'll organize a prayer meeting right away.

I'm gonna go get some holy water, it might not be too late! T___T 

Christmas was wonderful! Despite protests We spent Christmas together, all nine of us, just like a family should! ^^ It was so lovely. Then, we went around the neigborhood to sing Christmas carols...although I'm certain I heard some very unique lyrics from some very angry dissenters, who will get grounded if I find out who messed up O Holy Night with dirty lyrics! of the girls.

It's WELL past midnight...

GO TO BED~! I still hear laughing and giggling up there! D<




Ugh, my head...my stomach!

I took the girls trick-or-treating...WHY? Stupid Americans with their stupid holidays...DX

No more than five pieces a day girls! Some of you have already went wayyy past that limit, *cough*Seohyun&Tiffy&Sunny*cough* I don't want to have to take anyone to the hospital, because you passed out from eating too much candy! Plus, we also have to prepare for the new album! ...Do you hear me in there? Are you guys listening?

GO TO SLEEP! D<

I have a headache.

But who knew Laffy Taffy was so good? Americans have some pretty good candy, I must admit.

I have to get my money back for that stupid tracking device...electronic device that I bought, it doesn't even work! D<

I was just going to quietly snoop on the girls stand in the corner while the party was going on, but KWON, dragged me to the dance floor and gave me some kind of hideous, pink, sparkly boa. The cake was some kind of wonderful, oh so delicious, I want the recipe! Everything was going fine until Seohyun decided she wanted to go home. I wouldn't let her walk home alone, so she ran off! D< She said Caesar was going to walk her home! WHAT!? So, anyway, I decided to remain calm and not panic. After all, we only live like, 15 minutes away...what could possibly happen? So, after five minutes, I called Yuna and Yuri, because they stayed home, and she wasn't even there yet! O____O I tried calling Seo, but her phone was OFF! I thought that maybe she had been kidnapped and tossed into a river and her phone got ruined in the process! So I used the tracking device embedded in her molar started searching for her. Somehow I wound up in the middle of a field~! Two hours of tracking later, I decide to call home, and they told me she got there a whole hour ago! D<

SEOHYUN! Don't think you're totally off the hook yet! I told you to wait for the rest of us, and you deliberately disobeyed me and ran off!


EDIT: I called the company, and they informed me that "radio waves make it not work :D"! D< So they're not going to give me a refund...I hope they can fix it, it's still under warranty.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! MY BABY'S GROWING UP! THEY'RE ALL GROWING UP! T____T
She's so happy though.
I can tell because she played that stupid piano until three in the morning! I had to drag her to bed before the other girls killed her.

What...the heck?
Caesar just brought me the newspaper...O___O


Seo, I don't care what you teach him, he's still gotta stay outside in his doghou-uh, um..I mean cathouse...whatever! He has to stay outside, rules are rules!

Still, that's pretty cool...

OH DEAR GOD I'VE CAUGHT THE PLAGUE!
*sneeze*
I need some medicine...I need some soup...I need a PRIEST!
*coughcough*


OMGG, the girls are counting on me, I can't just lay here I've got things to dooooo!!!

*flail/twitch*

Maybe I've been a little too harsh on the girls when it comes to boys and dating...
They've turned to each other, omylord...

My leader senses are tingling...someone's up to somethng.

Where did all the dinner napkins go? I just bought new ones, has anyone seen them?

And why is there a cat in our kitchen with a little toga on? Anybody care to explain what's going on here?

Note to self:

Start ordering several large boxes of chocolate to be shipped to our house regularly each month. God, she almost scared me! 

You take a gay guy with you when you go table-cloth shopping, and everyone jumps to conclusions!
Napkin rings were on sale! OMG
Now I only need a few more things for our dinner party!

Dear Yunho,

       As a token of appreciation for the extreme kindness, helpfulness, and professionalism you and your group exhibited towards my girls during the filming of the Haptic CFs, I would like to invite the five of you to a pleasant, formal dinner at our wonderful home. Also, if you wouldn't mind, during dinner I would like to engage you in conversation to discuss how in the hell you manage to keep your crew in line leadership tactics. I know the five of you must be very busy, but if you could make time, I would love for you to accept our humble invitation.

    Why is our baby still hyper? That party was days ago, she should have calmed down by now...well at least the rest of the girls who went aren't jittery or anything. I heard that my Jessy got force fed a cookie. Good girls! (^__~)b Jess, sweetie, you look fine, you can eat a few more cookies, it wouldn't hurt. In fact, I'll buy you some next time we go out, kay?

Uh, sorry, gotta go...Seo's up to...something.